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At the
off set I am neither a good writer, an orator nor a scholar on religious
matters including our Zarathushti Deen. However, like every individual, I
too am having my views, opinions, suggestions etc., and I take the liberty
of expressing them.
Whatever
I am about to express are my own views and some of the views of others
with whom I have been agreeing from time to time.
Born in
a Zarathushti family, means a lot to me as it would to any Zarathushti. My
grandparents from both sides, paternal and maternal were pious minded,
simple people. Thus I was brought up in a very peace loving and lovable
atmosphere. During child hood, I was attracted towards our deen was
mainly to have the Navjote Ceremony performed with whatever pomp
affordable by my family. Because on that day one got to wear beautiful
dress, new shoes, etc., a band playing and all dinned and enjoying. I am
sure we all as Z-children felt this way. Learning to pray for the
initiation day was equally exciting as in those days, Mobed came home to
teach us (sister and me).
However,
the seeds of utmost love for the Z-Deen were sowed in my school life, a
boarding school in a picturesque place called Panchagani! Our Principals
whom we addressed as Mummaji and Pappaji[ii]
who were Zoroastrianism personified! In school we prayed 6 times a day.
During Muktad our Mummaji read some paragraphs from the Avasta book were
repeated by us. She would then translate the meaning of what we prayed in
Gujarati sometimes with good examples or stories. Her personality was so
enchanting and attracting that I too felt like emulating her. Thus during
entire schooling for 7 years, from Standard I to VII (later regarded as IV
to XII) I eulogized and dreamt about becoming a Zarthosthrian Nun or Jogan
if the religion so permitted. I began asking questions why Parsi ladies
couldn’t renounce their worldly lives and lead a life of seclusion and
pray to God all the time?
Thus
without fully knowing or understanding the depth of the religion I loved
it. As I later found out that it is in my nature to love all religions
and admire every deity! No sooner I was out of the school, which was a
very protective life, I was thrown to the open world of College, commuting
alone in buses and trains! I was scared to death. I would wait at the
bus stop for hours but would not venture to board it for fear of being
pushed or abused. And my mom would scream at me! She told me to be bold
and to learn the knack of getting around such situations. At that very
innocent and raw age I met my life-partner. Well I was fully aware of the
norm that Parsis could not and should not marry non-Parsis. I was also
aware that my parents and all relatives would be dead against if I thought
on such a line. Hence, I did keep my self away from thinking in that
direction. BUT with malice towards none, during that impressive age and
enveloped in the thought of pious, undiluted love, I was always put off by
the behavior and language of our Parsi lads! I was not used to listening
to such abusive language! Well you may debate that all communities use
abusive language too! True, that may be, but I did not come across such
non-Z lads who misbehaved or spoke abusive words! And on meeting this
non-Z lad with polite behavior and respect towards all lady members, we
became friendly and friendship began to blossom into love and he enquired
if I too was so inclined? At that time, I told him my views that in our
religion we are not allowed to even think about any alliance with non-Z
boys and I cannot commit anything. To that he explained to me that our
meeting often even as friends was not right especially for me as I was a
female! Moving around without definite purpose and calling each other just
friends would not be taken in the right sense by the world! So he told me
that we should part company and ONLY if I decided otherwise should we
continue meeting. A week passed without meeting each other and at that
time I kept on thinking what I should do. I had begun to like him very
much and he was not the only person I had met. There were other friends, I
was a member of the Parsee Youth Collegian Association and went to various
functions including picnics etc. with Z-boys who were quite nice too. But
my mind and heart kept going back to my non-Z friend and a great tussle
went on in my mind. Should I commit myself to him or not? I wanted to have
the cake and eat it too! The idea of his entering into relationship with
another girl of his community tormented me. I did not want to give him
up. Finally, I took solace in prayers and guidance from Daadar Ahuramazda!
“Please God tell me what I should do?” Because I knew myself that if I
gave word to someone I would keep it. I had a very stubborn streak in me.
I recollected stories of Parsi girls marrying non-Parsi boys and what had
happened to them, some marriages had broken-up, some were successful and
may be one or two led to suicide! I also compared him with other Parsi
lads and somehow he came out successful. So I approached him and we both
decided to go along thick and thin no matter what happened. He trusted my
decision because if I changed my mind he would land in trouble as he could
be taken to court or jailed etc. The rest is history. After a long
courtship of 10 years we finally got married with the blessings of my dear
departed ‘Bapaiji’ (father’s mother)! Sometimes, old orthodox
people have more sense! One of the conditions, in fact, the only condition
from my side was that I would not discard my religious symbol of
Sudre-Kushti, and I’ll say my prayers and go to the Fire Temple where he,
my partner could not accompany me ever! He consented and said,” but you
are invited and welcomed to our ‘Mandir’ as and when you wish.” When
children came, my mother and me taught them Z-prayers such as, Yatha Ahu….
Ashem Vohu.., 101 names, etc. They were religiously praying morning and
evening as my husband liked to light diya (divo) twice in a day i.e.
morning before going to work and evening before dinner. We all assembled
near the pooja area where the picture frame of Zarthosht Saheb and Sai
Baba and mini statues of other Gods and Goddesses were decorated. Children
were taught to respect all religions and to bow as and when they saw any
firetemples, mandirs, masjids, etc.
I
thought life was too good. We all prayed together and stayed together. My
children developed too much love for Z-religion and they too like me began
to dream of Navjote ! In this matter although I secretly craved for them
to be initiated into Zarathushti Deen I did not lift up my head as in
those days early 70s I was not aware of such initiation taking place. My
husband was quiet on the subject too so I let it pass. However, when my
children were born, I took all my new born to fire temple after the
regular ritual of completing 40 days and taking ‘nahan’ given by family
dastoorji at home. I placed the babies before Atash Ked and rubbed little
‘rakhia’ (white ash) on their foreheads. I do not know whether I
committed a sin by doing this but I felt that just like the children of
Parsi couple who till the age of 7 or 8 were allowed to be taken to the
fire-temple before initiating in the deen, I too felt that my children,
who too were till that age, were pure of mind and body there was no
harm in taking them to see and understand the rites and rituals of our
deen. The same we did by taking them to other places of worship too!
Here
came the turning point in the life of my children. One day I was praying
with my youngest child (7 year old son), sitting in front of the Atash as
my son always liked to sit on the carpet and feel closeness of the Atash
and watch its flames, I was praying from the book and he was repeating
after me. Suddenly, my son got up and I thought that he was going to
fetch a book too or something like that, and did not turn round to see.
But after several minutes passed and he had not returned I got up to look
for him. I asked my mom who too was present but sitting on a bench and
praying. She too did not know where he had gone. Then we began to look
for him in the entire premises of Agiyari but could not find him. I sent
one of my nephews to go home and see in case he had a sudden nature’s
call! Yes, he had gone home but not for the reason I thought of. He was
crying and when I asked him the reason he told me that he will never enter
a fire-temple and that he hated this religion and that the priests were
very rude and cruel. I learnt, that one of the priests signaled him out
and told him to “get out” and never to enter the fire temple as he was
not Zarathushti! It took me some time to calm him down and explain him not
to hate any religion just because someone was rude or insulting.
Luckily,
my children love Zarathushtra Saheb so much that they always have round
their neck pendent of Asho Frovhar and also Zarathushtra. And whenever
they start any work or have to appear for exams or interviews, they say”
Khashnothra Ahuromazda”!
The above feelings are my YESTERDAY’S views and thoughts.
From 7th
February 2005 my thinking about practicing our religion has undergone a
little change, no, do not read me wrong I have not lost faith or devotion
but am able to pray with more concentration and in place of praying a lot
without concentration I have limited my time and prayers to the shortest
period but with utmost devotion. Before, I got up in-between for some
pretext or other. My mind wandered and only at the end of the prayers when
I had to ask dua I was all attention and had a big list!!!! But my dua
also included “please Daadar Ahuramazda help my friends, well-wishers,
neighbors, colleagues, countrymen, citizen, relatives and people of the
world” “let there be joy and peace on earth, let there be no floods, no
fights, no wars no draughts nor killings.
The
sudden change and concentration I acquired after attending the 10 days
Vipassana course where one learns the technique of practicing the truth
in its entirety!! So far I, as a Zarthoshti, was basking in the laurel of
our tenets “Good Thoughts, Good Words and Good Deeds” which in itself are
the most comprehensive and beautiful words given to the people of the
world and which have been repeated or propagated by the religions that
followed sooth. But how to practice the Good Thoughts?? Since the
thoughts are generated in the mind, one has to control the mind, which in
its turn would enable us to have good thoughts free from aversions or
cravings or desires!! In short I saw the futility of praying without
concentration. Now I have begun reciting one verse from the Gathas daily.
Thus I read one verse with its meaning as given in a book sent to me by
Mrs. Marukh Shroff from Mumbai. This way I understand what I am praying
and I am also able to concentrate on that small piece of prayer.
Thereafter, I wish for every being to share in my Peace, Love, Harmony,
etc. This meditation enables us to remove layers of hatred, cravings or
desires accumulated in the body since our birth. It is going to take
time but that is the aim of meditation, i.e. to liberate one self from the
bondage of suffering, misery, etc.
I too
once belonged to the traditional thinkers since I was brought up in
that community. As I said before except to learn to pray and perform the
Navjote ceremony I had no in-depth knowledge of the Deen.[iii]
I would have died in that belief had it not been my good fortune to go on
the Internet and be a member of the CreatingAwareness Zoroastrian alias,
where I read views and suggestions of the eminent members of the List. I
realized that it was not Zarthushtra who had drawn line over accepting
outsiders into the Deen but it was a man made, say the Priest made rule!!
I read Farida Bamji’s poems which cried out loud and clear that ours is a
religion of choice and those who chose to become Zarthoshti were
welcomed!! Later I read the views of scholars like Dr. Jafarey,[iv]
Dina McIntyre,[v]
including the newly initiated Ron DeLaVega,[vi]
etc. In fact, every member had something intelligent to say. Thus I became
involved and began to put in my thoughts however naďve they may be. I
realized the folly of being adamant on the idea of non-acceptance of other
human beings into our faith. I wish many more realize their follies too!!
The other inspiring list members are, Mr. Mehr Amalsad,[vii]
Mr. Shariari Shariari,[viii]
Mr. Behram Pastakia, Mrs. Aban Rustomji,[ix]
Mrs. Magdalena Rustomji[x]
and the most silent but eloquent, Mr. Virasp Mehta through his Ushao
emailed newsletter posted monthly contains wealth of excellent topics,
stories, etc. Please do not mistake me if few names are left out because
all members are good in their own views and suggestions and hats
off to all.
This I
would say is “what does it mean to be a Zarthoshti” to me. But NOW
I love to be known as a good human being, first because I
too, like some of my friends believe that Religions are nothing but
divisible forces! Within ones own religion also there are divisions, e.g.,
traditionalists and modernists, Parsis and Iranis, Shias and Sunnis,
Brahimins and the untouchables!!!!!! If Zarthosht Saheb or any
other Prophet were to learn about such division, I am sure they would have
abstained from preaching or propagating their beliefs to human beings.
People also believe that in the name of the religion (dharma) one can kill
others and yet attain Heavenly abode!!!! Thus it is better to be called a
Good human being, a Good citizen of the world and not of a particular
place or country or religion!! I too at first was averse towards any
(era-gera) joining our faith. But now I do not think so. From the List I
have read about the initiation of scores of Brazilians due to the efforts
of few dedicated but true followers of Zarthosht’s teachings!! Truly these
are the true sons of God!! This brings us to the recently debated
questions. “ Is there God? Is there life after death?” I think there has
to be some supernatural power, some force which runs this universe and the
planets etc. Otherwise, why do we cry out in joy or pain, “thank you God
for protecting me from such an such situation,” or “ Oh! God! , only you
could have performed such a miracle” etc. As for life after death, each
one to his or her belief. It depends on what we have read, heard, etc. We
have to pay for our deeds and how we do not know.
If, as a
lay person, I am allowed to give a piece of advise, I would say let us
live in peace and harmony no matter to what faith we belong by choice or
force. Let us all be compassionate towards all fellow-beings no matter
what colour or creed. Apart from religion, there is one other reason for
dividing people and that is the language! I read somewhere that if the
language of a place or country is common it helps in steadying the
thoughts and actions of the people. As an example, the State of Kerala was
sited where all speak Malayalam language. Whether people of the State are
Hindus, Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, etc. There are no hundred percent
claims to this fact but partly it’s a palatable thought.
“ I have had an avalanche of emails from different sources and with
different opinions. The ones who are very strongly opposed to conversion
and the others bent on spreading our religion by conversions. I do my
part in educating others about Zoroastrian religion just as a matter of
interest. When I got married I made it very clear to my in-laws that I
will not convert to another religion. By following their own faiths,
couples can enlighten each other discussing the messages given by their
own individual prophets. All religions lead to same one God and Unity,
why then this turmoil? If one is not faithful to one's birth religion what
makes people so sure that they would remain faithful to their adopted (via
conversion) religion? Again, I believe, it is always beneficial to learn
about all religions as a matter of interest and education so we can
understand and respect every faith.
World's history shows that more wars have been caused because of religions
or people's intolerance of matters pertaining to religions. This is not
what the prophets teach us and I am sure this is not Lord Ahuramazda wants
His children to do. Parsis in India have always been perceived as
peaceful and pleasant people. Now all of a sudden there are great
divisions within our own precious community over religion, because those
who have become westernized want to exercise their will on breaking
traditions of our community, and those who feel strongly that purity of
bloodline of Parsis/Zoroastrians should not be diluted through
intermarriages or conversions. I am sure all parties have good
intentions and all speak from their own experiences.
Yes, it hurts when I go to India and I can't go to the fire temple or
attend a friend's funeral sitting with other women inside at dungarwadi.
But that's the choice I made when I married outside the religion. It is
my choice also to respect the traditions of our community in India.
And Zarathushtra gave us the freedom to choose but with it also comes the
responsibility and consequences. Is it fair that men get different
preferences than women in our community? For example, children of mixed
marriages, where father is a Parsi, can be initiated in our religion (e.g.
Tata family) but a woman choosing a mate outside of our faith is
considered to be almost an outcast and her children are not allowed to be
Zoroastrians, by tradition. No, it is not fair, but in patriarchal
societies that is the norm and instead of getting all stressed out, I just
stay out of the commotion, do my meditations, say my prayers, and live a
healthy life doing what I can to follow the teachings of our Prophet
Zoroaster. I get as much peace and connection with God praying in my
home, on a beach, in the mountains and all religious dwellings, as I used
to when I went to Agiyaris, Ateshbehrams and yes, even Iranshah. On
judgment day I want to stand tall and be able to say I tried my best in
thinking good thoughts, speaking good words and doing good deeds and if I
made mistakes or sinned then I hope through repentance I am forgiven.
Finally, it all comes down to karmic burdens we carry throughout life
times. It's the principle of cause and effect. What we sow we will reap
then why not keep it simple and concentrate on our own lives and live in
peace.”
The above paragraphs under the quotation marks are the views expressed by
a friend who wishes to remain anonymous. Since she has put the thoughts in
such lucid language I have with her permission copied here to incorporate
in my write-up as the same are after my heart.
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